Surviving Silent Reflux

All set to have my baby boy 

When my son was born, he was perfect. All fingers and toes were where they should be. We were happy and relieved he was healthy and happy. He had a healthy yell and big appetite, and we thought we were going to have a relatively easy time with this whole baby thing for the second time around.

Welcome Baby Boy

So perfect

We realised something was wrong when we brought Ollie home from the hospital and he refused to lie in his moses basket. We would place him down gently asleep, yet he would wake again within minutes, sometimes seconds screaming murder. We kept trying to put him down to give ourselves the chance to rest and sleep, but the same thing happened every single time. The crib, the pram, the car seat, the floor, our bed. No matter what we tried it all resulted in endless screaming.

I was already scared thinking how I was going to cope with 2 babies under 1.5 years but this was a shit storm I had not envisaged.  Sadly, having my second baby was not quite what I had imagined it to be, in fact, it was far from it.  I had imagined snuggling up with my little bundle of joy, attending baby and toddler groups with them both.  Spending time with my first born in between all them “long newborn naps”, meeting with other mammy friends for lunch and baby play dates.  How wrong was I!!  I literally didn’t leave the house for the first 5 months. Anyone’s that is following me on social media will see I’m certainly making up for it now. 🙈Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come, silent reflux was far from silent, my baby was born crying and just didn’t stop.

He didn’t want cuddles and was inconsolable despite trying everything to try and settle him. For a long time, I doubted myself as a mother, I felt like a complete and utter failure and wondered what I had done wrong which quickly lead to a downward spiral resulting many days and night spent crying myself, not leaving the house, and wallowing in my own self pity.  I continually asked myself why was this happening to my baby, to me, to my family, it affected everyone, it just wasn’t fair.  I used to sit there looking out the window with Ollie in my arms wondering just how I was going to escape all of this. I wanted to run away from it all.   I just wanted it to stop. I wanted it to go back to when it was just the three of us and everything was just perfect.  Then I would be filled with guilt and regret for even thinking that.   I figured if I read enough books, did enough internet searches, tried enough techniques, I could make it go away, but nothing worked. We would just sit in darkness and quietness in the fear he would wake and any little sound he would cry. I would rock him for as long as I could stand it. Sometimes I cried right along with him. He cried for a solid 3 months.  It’s hard. It’s heartbreaking. It’s frustrating. You feel helpless and incapable to make it better. Reflux puts your baby in a bad mood. Ollie could not easily soothe himself or settle down. He didn’t nap long.  He would wake up at night frequently. He would cry his eyes out when feeding. I never wanted to feed him in public because of the crying so hence why I rarely left my house. It was too stressful to leave him with someone else, but it’s absolutely exhausting to be with them 24/7.  I never asked for help with him.  I thought nobody would be able to console him the way I do so did it all myself.  I remember going to my friends house the night before her wedding when Ollie was 3 weeks old and I had to leave after 15 minutes as he cried uncontrollably for Kev.   I felt like I could provide no comfort but I knew that I the only one who could soothe him even a little bit. It’s easy to grow insensitive towards the crying. It messes up any type of routine you are trying to establish and maintain. It makes you green with envy and sometimes bitter towards moms whose babies eat and sleep so well and they certainly like to brag about it. I know this, because I was one of them annoying mums one time too when I boasted about how good Ever-Leigh was and how she slept through the night for 6 weeks and only cried if she was hungry or tired.

I was even jealous of my fiancé and bitter towards him for being able to go to work, go to the gym, have adult conversations, lunch in peach, stop off at a garage if he wanted a coffee… like imagine being upset and jealous of somebody who was working a 10 hour day to allow me to stay at home with the kids 🙈 hormones make you do and say crazy things. I’m so lucky he isn’t fiery and is well able for me and now that our relationship has survived the biggest test of all which I think is sleep deprivation! I can confirm I’m definitely ready to marry him 😂😂

I took the time to write this blog post describing what we have been through, how far we have come and the whirlwind of emotions we have encountered along the way in the hope of reaching out to other parents of babies with reflux, let them know they are not alone and that things do and will, get easier. We are now 7 months down the line and we have the happiest little boy who brings so much joy to our lives. He thankfully doesn’t and won’t remember the rough days and nights but we will never forget them.

He literally smiles from the minute he opens his eyes in the morning until we put him to bed at night.  We didn’t find the magic cure for silent reflux but we survived and so will you.  I don’t use the term survived lightly, nor would other moms whose babies had reflux. But we made it. Kicking and screaming.

Below are some tips we found useful:

Feeding: When feeding, stop the baby every three to five minutes, distract him/her, then keep feeding. This stops their stomach from getting overfull and helps to stop as much of the stomach contents from coming back up and causing reflux.

Sleeping: Try placing the baby on surfaces that are at a long slope. Don’t lay the baby flat for too long or put them in things that crunch her tummy at a right angle. Upright strollers and car seats can help, and try putting a wedge underneath the crib mattress to elevate the crib.

Baby carriers: Keep the baby upright during the day as much as possible to help.  I used a Boba wrap and literally carried Ollie in this all day long for 3 months. My back is not the better of it but I feel I genuinely wouldn’t have made it through must days if it had not been for the baby carrier.

It’s against HSE guidelines but I found putting Ollie to sleep on his tummy proved beneficial for us. Again, I’m not a medical professional and you should definitely discuss this option with your consultant if you feel it would help.

Have a listen to my highlights on my Instagram titled (surviving reflux) if you would like to listen to a bit of our journey during our time with the chiropractor.

We went to a chiropractor who diagnosed Ollie with Kiss Kidd syndrome which is an neck injury which may have occurred at birth (Ollie was a planned C-section).

KISS syndrome is not a disease but a malfunction and blockage in the upper cervical in children. The definition of KISS in English is ‘Kinematic Imbalance due to Suboccipital Stress’. This means imbalance in motion due to stresses in the upper neck region. This can result in an asymmetric development in children that involves a disruption in the normal movement development or disturbances in the control as the child’s ability thrives.

The neck injury was causing the reflux and wakening.  After 5 sessions with Rory Murphy Ollie was like a new baby.  I stopped his reflux medication just 2 weeks after his last session and never looked back.

Signs your baby may have silent reflux:

Signs of silent reflux – This piece was abstracted from The Mummy Pages

• Baby crying excessively, and not just in the afternoon (as is with colic)
• Baby seems to want to feed ferociously, but never seems full (a baby may do this to ease the acid burn)
• Back arching when being held or seeming distressed when laid down on a flat surface
• Poor sleeping habits, during the day and night
• Baby hates the car seat (some babies dislike the hunched over position of the newborn seats)
• Baby seems to be constantly trying to get away from being held, will push and scrape at parents’ face or arms (more noticeable in older babies)
• Baby cries most of the day or whines and wants to be picked up, or will display attention-seeking behaviour (this is to distract themselves from the pain). You can’t spoil a small baby!
• Pulling or scratching at face or back of the neck
• Head banging or head extended right back when sleeping (this can be a sleeping technique that some babies adapt to stop the acid travelling up the oesophagus and into the throat)
• Sneezing, itching, rash or excessive runny explosive nappies (some signs of allergy/intolerance to cow’s milk protein or soy (CMSPI). It’s good to remember these factors can also be present in a baby who repeatedly vomits or spits up large volumes of feed. These signs and symptoms can be found in bottle-fed and breastfed babies!

Thank you for the taking the time to read my blog post and if this has helped even one person make it through the day and feel more positive I will be very happy.

 

Lots of Love Danielle & Ollie xxx